Myspace Martyr

I hate blind adding on myspace, I get so tired of fucking shitty bands and weirdos trying to add me, when it’s obvious that the didn’t even take the time to read my profile. When one Jesus Christ tried to add me as a friend I gladly accepted and promptly left the following comment for him:

“No hoary falsehood shall be a truth to me; no cult or dogma shall encamp my pen. I break away from all conventions. Alone, untrammelled. I raise up in stern invasion the standard of the strong. I gaze into the glassy eye of your fearsome Jehovah and pluck him by the beard; I uplift a broad-axe and split open his worm-eaten skull.”
– Unknown, Might Makes Right!”

Almost instantly my inbox was flooded with fun letters from angry myth mongers. The best one came from a funny look hump named Billboard For Chirst:
“1.The hariest of all falshood is truth to you
2.U break away from all conventions and yet join the convention of the convention of unbelievers
3.Glassy eyes, where did you come up with that one?
4.How can he be glassy eyed and fearsome at the same time……..
5. If the might is unknown how would one know how it is right?

U guys come up with real wierd ones, quite humorous too, especially since each syllabul, letter and word is contradicting the next “

I responded:

“There are no contradictions
as I am making no actual claims
the following is what is called a story…
god doesn’t have a worm eaten skull;
he doesn’t even exist…

I love the way you try to use logic and reason on my
when you choose to ignore it in your beliefs.

PS Learn to spell…”

My lack of faith was truly shaken with his response:

“Thanks for calling me logical, i never got such a nice compliment for a while.

so u make sentences u dont mean?

Oh its a story… ur absolutely right there, it is the story of God’s divine hand in human history……..ul see it by and by in ur future; and the future of the nation….ur familiar with the Old Testament, i dont need to say more there…

If he doesnt exist how did u come accross the Terms;
God and Jehovah?

I learnt this logic from people like u, so thank yourself for it….

PS Spelling has always been bad, is and will be…..”

There are so many choice statements here, but my favorite would have to be:

“If he doesnt exist how did u come accross the Terms;
God and Jehovah?”

Amazing. The state of having a name demands existence.
Vampire, Unicorn, Teleporter, Cyclops, Jackalope, Satanic Ritual Abuse, Hover Board…


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